Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
