That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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