Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
