I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
