ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I looked at my own cervix.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
