Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
