Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
