so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
