i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The adults are the big ones right?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
