The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Someone shattered a urinal.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
