Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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