whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
