Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
