you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
