my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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