I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
