so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Congratulations! We have a period
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