You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
