ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
