Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize