Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize