Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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