Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
