you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize