They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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