did you get engaged???
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm sobbing to NWA
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize