I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
