Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
