Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
