I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
