it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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