3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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