Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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