All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
