so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish life had little blips of pornography
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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