Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
