there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
