And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
