Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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