I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
