Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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