he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
