She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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