do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Randomize
