"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize