there's paper in my vomit.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
