I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
