Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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