Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm really busy with my period
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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