i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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