Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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