he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
