I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
