We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
