worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We have so much sex to catch up on
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize