Porn is love you can see.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
