We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
