he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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