You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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