I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize