We're like a lot better than the average bears
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
