I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
