The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
